


We Rise, We Fall, And We Break

by benny_Laur



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-11
Updated: 2019-01-11
Packaged: 2019-10-08 11:39:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17385791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/benny_Laur/pseuds/benny_Laur
Summary: Directly after the events at Adamant Fortress, Varric has a hard time dealing with the loss of his best friend. Cassandra's no expert, but she still wants to help.





	We Rise, We Fall, And We Break

**Author's Note:**

> And if there’s a reason I’m still alive  
> When everyone who loves me has died  
> I’m willing to wait for it

         Nobody missed how the dwarf’s voice cracked when he asked about The Champion. It was a heart-breaking scene, even for the most stone-faced of the Inquisition soldiers. The Inquisitor stood in front of the now closed Rift, back facing the growing crowd. The Grey Warden, Carver Hawke, had collapsed onto his hands and knees after coming through the Fade Rift. Varric had pushed himself through the crowd, eyes wildly jumping between the soldiers.

         “Hawke?” He had asked. The Inquisitor flinched at his voice, and Warden Carver shakily rose a hand to his face, covering his eyes. He began to shake and shudder, moving his head back and forth.

         “Wh-” Varric stuttered, “Where’s Hawke?” He asked again, his face crumpling as each heavy second passed.

          Hawke had sacrificed herself for her brother, the Inquisitor told Cassandra with a quivering voice. The party had been cornered right as they were making their escape by a powerful demon who blocked the path. The Hawke siblings had argued in the Fade, and ultimately left the decision of who would stay behind to save the others to the Inquisitor. She didn’t want to make the decision, she told Cassandra, but she thought the Grey Warden would have been the better choice to stay, and Carver had insisted. The Champion was quiet, then smiled, pulling her brother into a hug. She told him that she didn’t want to see her family die again, _couldn’t_ see it happen again. She squeezed him tighter and whispered something in his ear that the Inquisitor couldn’t hear. Without warning Hawke used her staff to fire at the demon, pushing Carver hard. He fell backward into the Inquisitor, and they both tumbled forward, into the now cleared path, and into the Rift.

         The Inquisitor had finally fallen asleep after spending hours crying. Cassandra left her wrapped up in furs in the tent and made her way around the sombre camp after removing her armour. The destroyed remains of Adamant helped to shield the Inquisition’s camps from the wind. They were all exhausted, and it was quickly decided that they would remain there, in the shadow of the fortress, until the injured could be moved, and they had all gotten some rest. It was late, with most of the soldiers having turned in for the night. Cassandra couldn’t blame them.

         Despite the win, Adamant Fortress had felt like a blow to the Inquisition.

         Cassandra stepped around a cluster of tents, considering turning in herself. The battle weighed heavily in her heart, like it did for everyone else, and sleep seemed like the best option at that point. She had almost turned around, back toward the tent she shared with the Inquisitor, when she saw him.

         Varric sat by the fire, eyes cast down at Bianca in his hands, fiddling with parts of it. Cassandra froze. She was the last person he would want to see right now, and she knew that. Their interactions had gone back to being awkward and stiff since Hawke had arrived at Skyhold, and Cassandra had no interest in making the night worse. Before she could decide what to do, Varric had looked up, as if sensing her. He smiled at her, waving her over with a hand. Cassandra raised an eyebrow at his odd behaviour, stepping toward the fire.

         “Varric – ” She said after a moment.

         “Couldn’t sleep either?” He asked suddenly. Cassandra hesitated. She watched him move his hands over Bianca, his eyes cast down, focused on his work.

         Oh, she had been _furious_ when she had first found out. She had believed herself a fool for taking Varric at his word when he told her he didn’t know where Hawke was, for continuing to believe him every time the Champion was mentioned. He had been careful with his wording, subtly shifting the conversation to a safer topic each time one of their companions would ask questions. She sat and listened to him like an awe-struck child, taking his fiction for fact, not questioning the stories he spun for her.

         More than furious, she had been _hurt_. She had though of the dwarf as a friend, and had hoped he had thought the same.

         ‘ _Hawke would be dead, too_ ’, He had told her. He had been right, of course. Despite her anger, Cassandra was not a fool. She lingered in the what-ifs, but she knew, unfortunately, he was right.

         Cassandra only saw the Champion a few times around Skyhold. It wasn’t that she was actively avoiding Hawke, but Varric’s lie was still a fresh wound, and she found it hard to engage with the subject matter when she was still upset. So instead of swallowing her pride and apologising like she knew she should have, she simply avoided them both until she could work through her feelings – quite a few training dummies were destroyed in the Champions short stay.

         Before Adamant, the Inquisitor had managed to drag Cassandra into the Heralds Rest on one of it’s more lively nights. It didn’t take long for Cassandra to see why it was so busy. Varric sat in one corner of the room, gesturing wildly along to some story he was telling the weary soldiers who had just returned from the field that sat near him, tankards in hand. Hawke sat on his right, listening just as intently as the others were. The crowd was growing steadily as Varric’s tale grew more outlandish, and the group exploded into laughter at whatever was said. Hawke’s laugh cut through the crowd, sloshing the ale in her cup as she snorted and pounded her fist on the table. Cassandra didn’t stay much longer after that, making an excuse to cut the night short as the Inquisitor eyed the table with interest. The Champion of Kirkwall was a marvel, an awe. But the Hawke who sat by her friend, listening to his stories and drinking piss ale was just a woman. That was the Hawke Cassandra wished she knew, red-faced and smiling, sitting with the rest of the patrons enamoured with Varric’s story telling.

         “I suppose not,” Cassandra answered, turning her gaze toward the slowly dying fire. They sat together in silence, the only sound between them the soft sounds of Varric working and the crackle of the logs in the flame.

         “I won’t pretend I understand what you’re going through – ” Cassandra spoke quickly. Varric’s gruff voice cut her off.

         “Don’t, Seeker.”

         “Varric –”

         “ _Don’t._ I’m fine, Seeker. I sure as hell don’t need you of all people to try to comfort me. I get the feeling that’s not your strong suit.” He tried to laugh, but it was bitter and hollow. His brow furrowed, eyes tense and still cast down. He spoke quickly, rushing the words.

         “Y’know, this was a good play for the inquisition. We’ve got the Grey Wardens away from Corypheus, which is a damned good thing,” His hands began to move faster, almost in time with his words, gliding over Bianca, “Junior’s got a good head on his shoulder’s, he’ll really help out with rebuilding the Wardens, I think.”

         “Varric?” Cassandra asked, but he carried on.

         “Now we’ve got the Grey Wardens and the rebel mages on our side, it’s only a matter of time before Corypheus – _shit!_ ” He pulled his hand away sharply from his crossbow, blood on one of his finger tips. He stared at the blood, loosening his grip on Bianca. He looked so tired, Cassandra thought, before his face began to crumple, and she stood up, crossing over the fire as Varric slumped over. She caught him before he fell, holding onto his shoulders.

         “What the hell was she thinking?” Varric’s body shook against Cassandras hands. She was not a comforting person, Varric was right, but she knew pain. She knew death. The loss of a friend, even if it wasn’t quite the same. She moved her hands to Varric’s back, and he melted into the touch, leaning his forehead against Cassandra’s stomach. She felt his arms whined themselves up around her waist, pulling her closer. It would have made for an odd sight, Cassandra thought, the two of them embraced in the middle of camp. Varric’s body heaved with sobs, and she held onto him a bit tighter.

         “It’s not fair,” Varric’s voice was deep and full of pain, and in that moment, Cassandra agreed. “Hawke’s such an ass hole,” He hiccuped, “She did this on purpose just so I would cry.” He let out a watery laugh. Varric leaned further into her. Cassandra stood there silently, holding onto the dwarf. She didn’t have a way with words like he did, but words would not help him now, so she stood there, holding him as he cried.

         “Hawke would have liked you.” He said it so quietly Cassandra wasn’t sure if he was even speaking to her, but his arms tightened around her, and she felt the regret in his voice.

         “What was she like?” Cassandra asked. “Really like, I mean. I know about the Champion,” She softly rubbed her hand across his back. “I want to know about your friend.”

         “Maker, the stories I could tell.” He laughed, pressing his forehead firmly against her stomach. “Shit, one time, back in Kirkwall, Hawke and I were in Hightown…” 

**Author's Note:**

> It's literally been 4 years since I've posted a fic on here and i wrote this in a few hours so apologies if there are errors! Also I know it ends a bit suddenly (?) but I wasn't really sure how it should end, so, again, apologies. Kudos and comments would be appreciated since I'm always worried no one likes my work, so, I mean, if you like it let me know! Thanks! :) 
> 
> P.S. Tittle come from 'Wait for It' from Hamilton (I've literally never seen it but the music slaps)


End file.
